Arlington, TX — In an effort to protect the citizens of Texas, a massive military-style raid was conducted on the Garden of Eden organic farm and commune.
On August 2, 2103, nearly two dozen heavily armed SWAT officers stormed this peaceful farm in search of a plant. They found lots of plants, but much to their dismay, they did not find the plant they were looking for.
Countless tax dollars and months of half-cocked planning went down the drain that day after it was discovered that police incompetence had led these troops into a battle to which there can be no victor.
In the days leading up to this asinine military assault on a peaceful commune, the ineptitude of the Arlington police department was oozing from the seams.
Arlington Detective Magdalena Perez, through a series of poor decisions, frivolously came to the conclusion that the peaceful hippies at the Garden of Eden were up to no good and were cultivating marijuana. The horror! However, Perez was terribly wrong.
Prior to the raid, these heroes even conducted a flyover of the farm and wrongly determined that the Garden of Eden was an evil pot farm. But they were mistaken. After their 20 soldiers had stormed the garden, the Arlington police found not one single gram of marijuana.
What they did find, however, was a myriad of fruits and vegetables; and they seized them. After seemingly disgusted in themselves for such an ignorant and ill-conceived plan, the officers heroically proceeded to confiscate, “17 blackberry bushes, 15 okra plants,…